ABOUT ME
• crazy but not wild
• Devoted
• Loved
• I'm addicted to my bunshin, music, writing, my bunshin, bleach, pictures, did i say my bunshin yet?
• I love to dance... i move.
• I'm fascinated with anime
• I love rainy Monday mornings
• I dream of a simple life
• I love traveling
• I stay home simply to spend time with my family
• I recently got bitten by the computer bug
• I love theater
• I have deep affection for dogs
• I love drawing but drawing seems to have developed a mild aversion towards me
• If given a chance, I'd go to VIENNA!
• I love my bunshin
• I love hugging
• When deeply saddened or undeniably happy, i write.
• my life is an unwritten book filled with wonderful adventures
contact >> ♥ miaka ♥
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Hormonal Days...
Been having hormonal days recently. being extra sensitive.. paranoid.. crying over the little things.. and being extremely affected by things that normally doesn't affect me. Hormones. I blame them. I blame so many things these days... the heat. the rain. the airconditioning. the hungerpangs and the body aches and pains. I blame my anxiety over the coming delivery. I blame the fear of pain. I blame the constant need to go to the ladies room and the time i need to wait until i get a ride to work.
Even then i know it all boils down to one thing. The hormones. I close my eyes and say a short prayer of strength. I pray as i cry. I pray as i move. I pray that i wont be so weak. My eyes hurt and i blame that too... I guess i just have to ride with it. wait a few more weeks. A few more days. Then a few more hours.
Sometimes, i get so affected reading about how other fellow pregnant mommies get to spend time with their husbands. I feel envious. I have to admit that. At times like these where anything and everything seems to contribute to my mood, i know that a hug or a smile from my husband would make everything better. I long for those short walks together. Dinners we could share. trips we could make. I long for the moments when i would constantly crave for something only my husband can give me. I feel so incomplete.
But then i try not to be that way. I look at the other side of the coin and tell myself constantly that i am lucky to have a family that wholeheartedly supports me. I have a bigger family now. And when moments seem really tough for me i hang on to that thought instead. I am grateful for that.
BUt i have to admit. At this very moment. I am just so lonely.
Tomorrow will be another day. Perhaps then, I won't be.
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