"Requiem of an Insomniac"

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Cruisin'

Imagining
the headlights, the streets, the wet road ahead
the sound of music... soft, sweet, comforting

You hold my hand as you turn the wheel..
you turn to me and smile..
windows down, the soft wind on our faces
I smile back.

The night was perfect
The moon... the scent of grass, leaves...
the slightest touch
I close my eyes and simply feel

I have you.
Life can't get any better than that.

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Friday, October 27, 2006

Giddy.

Messages.
Short phone calls as you sing.
A picture.
the thought of your smile.

The sound of your voice.
dimples on your cheeks.
pictures of you and me.
music.

emails in the middle of the day.
a million endearments from your lips.
An approved testimonial.
4:00am.

YOU.

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE (Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams)

I finally found someone, that knocks me off my feet
I finally found the one, that makes me feel complete
We started over coffee, we started out as friends
It's funny how from simple things, the best things begin
This time it's different, dah dah dah dah
It's all because of you, dah dah dah dah
It's better than it's ever been
'Cause we can talk it through
Oohh, my favorite line was "Can I call you sometime?"
It's all you had to say to take my breath away
(Chorus)
This is it, oh, I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one, to be with every night
'Cause whatever I do, it's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone, ooh, someone
I finally found someone, oooh
Did I keep you waiting, I didn't mind
I apologize, baby, that's fine
I would wait forever just to know you were mine
And I love your hair, sure it looks fine
I love what you wear, isn't it the time?
You're exceptional, I can't wait for the rest of my life
(Repeat Chorus)
Whatever I do, it's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

read past conversations...
brought myself back to the time you were here..
close...
at arms reach..
where all i have to do was to turn around and i find you there.

i turn around now and all i see is an empty chair
left behind by you who owns my heart...
I close my eyes and whisper a prayer
that i remain strong while you're gone..

i will be here...
holding on...
waiting...
loving...
the person that is you.

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The Bottom Line
Today, give yourself permission to put yourself and your personal goals first.

In Detail
If you have been feeling burdened lately -- either by a feeling or by a responsibility -- today you will feel a real sense of freedom from those burdens. This could be a major turning point in your life, where you can just let go of perceived obligations and give yourself permission to put yourself and your personal goals first. Many of these obligations weren't yours to deal with anyway, so let the proper person take them on. Give up some of your ownership.

I know, i know.. i shouldn't bear the burden alone... but there simply is no one else to turn to... and I HATE being a burden to anyone. I cry sometimes... for the things i wish i could have done something about that are no longer within my control. But i refuse to be beaten. Things have a way of working out eventually... haven't they been working out the way they should so far?

So I'll hang in there.

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Monday, October 16, 2006

"..your journey of finding the right one ends here..it ends with me...where forever begins for you and me...the two of us..together..."

Let it end with you.

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Friday, October 13, 2006

Warm Water.

I've never been able to handle the cold weather. Was fortunate enough to experience snow one time and i ended up wearing 3-4 sets of clothing all at once...tsk, tsk... talk about the amount of laundry i had to do afterwards...

When bathing I'd have this everyday ritual of heating water for myself before even stepping into the showers... no one can really blame me... With my skin so close to the bone...I can't say i have enough insulators to keep me warm...

Its probably a mundane thought to mull over in the middle of the day but someone reminded me of how comfortable i am with the heat... I had to smile.... not everyone can say the same for themselves...

Perhaps I'm meant to be the warm one.... heehee.

Or maybe...

I'm simply meant to share it. ;P

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Leaving on a Jetplane

Thought I was very good at goodbyes... thought i got used to it... but then...
i realize i'll never get used to it after all...

at one point in time i will eventually get myself into saying goodbye to someone close to my heart.

this is that point in time.

I refuse to say goodbye though. the word sounds so.... final. I'd rather say "i will see you again.."

so... "I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN.."... hurry home..

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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

In the middle of work i stop and stared blankly at the monitor in front of me.
I listen quietly to the hubbub of people taking calls... and then suddenly i wonder...

is this living by default or living by design?

a good friend once told me life should never be lived in accordance to other people's expectations. We live by our own design.

And then i start to ask myself.. Am i?

I try to resist the restlessness seeping through me. I refuse to be engulfed with the feeling of helplessness. I will not allow it.

And yet, as I continue to stare aimlessly, i can't help feeling..

Is this all there is?

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