ABOUT ME
• crazy but not wild
• Devoted
• Loved
• I'm addicted to my bunshin, music, writing, my bunshin, bleach, pictures, did i say my bunshin yet?
• I love to dance... i move.
• I'm fascinated with anime
• I love rainy Monday mornings
• I dream of a simple life
• I love traveling
• I stay home simply to spend time with my family
• I recently got bitten by the computer bug
• I love theater
• I have deep affection for dogs
• I love drawing but drawing seems to have developed a mild aversion towards me
• If given a chance, I'd go to VIENNA!
• I love my bunshin
• I love hugging
• When deeply saddened or undeniably happy, i write.
• my life is an unwritten book filled with wonderful adventures
contact >> ♥ miaka ♥
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Building the commitment.I've always had difficulty keeping relationships.. i often myself questioning the situation... Why did i just suddenly lose it? Where has the spark gone? Is there something wrong with me? I had this fear that one day, id find myself old and gray bearing fond memories of the life I had lived but realizing i wasn't able to hold on to it as i should. Its a fear that never fails to give me that weak feeling. When this happens, i tell myself that perhaps i haven't met him yet... perhaps I haven't been patient enough to wait for that person HE specially prepared for me.
Now, I find myself in a relationship with someone who brings out feelings in me that i never thought possible. And I tell myself... this is what I've been waiting for all along...
In the beginning, I started questioning the situation again... will the spark stay longer this time? Will we be able to weather the different challenges that would come our way? Will it be different this time? I realize I have no answers to these questions. And this time the fear has changed. I no longer fear being old and gray and alone... but rather i fear being old and gray and alone, AND thinking about the one who got away... And so I close my eyes and pray i keep him... not just now, not just tomorrow but for as long as i can.
Today, he gave me the answer to the questions of my heart....
i don't need you to love me for me to love you back... i'm loving you because i love you...no one asked me to..nor am i doing this because i'm obliged to love you in return. i love you simply because i do. there's so many things i love about you..but the feeling of loving is something that have grown and is continuously growing to create something that even the word "love" cannot contain its meaning.so, i will love you for as long as i can...
if you love me..
i wll keep it and protect it and take it...laugh.cry.bruise.high.low.fear. all of these i'll feel because of that love. i'm embracing it all because of the love i have for you. i fear losing you...but i thank you for giving me this chance to love you and be loved by you...there are so many things i wanna say, things that i wanna share..but there are times that i wanna keep all thoughts inside me...all the feelings...and just look you in the eye...and without any words i know you'll feel it all..i know you'll understand...i long to touch you ..i crave for you so much...greedy..selfish..i may be at times...cause i want to keep you to myself...only to myself...you're like a butterfly in my palm..and most of the time...i find myself opening it up and letting you do as you wish... simply loving you freely...i know there are so many people out there who loved, is loving, and will love you...i'm one of them...
But, I'm loving you my way...
I have a love like no other.. a love that is meant for me as mine is meant for him. I don't expect to keep the sparks flying everyday... but i do know we can keep the love alive. Not because we simply feel it... but also because we CHOOSE to keep it.
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