ABOUT ME
• crazy but not wild
• Devoted
• Loved
• I'm addicted to my bunshin, music, writing, my bunshin, bleach, pictures, did i say my bunshin yet?
• I love to dance... i move.
• I'm fascinated with anime
• I love rainy Monday mornings
• I dream of a simple life
• I love traveling
• I stay home simply to spend time with my family
• I recently got bitten by the computer bug
• I love theater
• I have deep affection for dogs
• I love drawing but drawing seems to have developed a mild aversion towards me
• If given a chance, I'd go to VIENNA!
• I love my bunshin
• I love hugging
• When deeply saddened or undeniably happy, i write.
• my life is an unwritten book filled with wonderful adventures
contact >> ♥ miaka ♥
Saturday, November 11, 2006
I'm learning to breathe..."I'm learning to breathe, I'm learning to crawl..I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall..."
~Switchfoot
Its been a trying day. I wish i could have handled things better but.. I didn't... I miss him. Terribly. Our last conversation didnt seem to end well. I went to bed with a heavy heart...
Now I'm waiting. Sitting on the same couch for the past 10 hours hoping i could talk to him. Its crazy. I'm crazy.
I fear. I fear the day I might lose him. I fear the day he might change his mind and heart and decide he's better off without me. I know I'm letting my paranoia get the better of me but at times like these.. feeling so alone... feeling so helpless... its so difficult not to succumb to my insecurities and doubts.
Thinking about these possibilities, I can't help but have tears in my eyes. I could feel a stab of pain in my heart. That excruciating pain that comes with the gripping realization that if I lose him... I've lost the one person who's meant for me. I don't think my heart could ever love anyone the same way again.
Tonight you arrested my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife in the shape of your mouth
in the form of your body
With the wrath of a God...
well you stand by me and
believed
I think about how i feel about him. I think about how much of my life I want to share with him. I think about so many things...
How do i know if its him? If he's the one? If I trully and genuinely love him? I have no answer for that than to simply say: I know. My heart tells me so. My mind agrees. My body on its own volition reacts.... I've never felt this certain of anyone my entire life.
I continue waiting... Whether its 10 hours or 10 years my heart will wait for him. It can wait for no one else but him.
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