ABOUT ME

• crazy but not wild • Devoted • Loved • I'm addicted to my bunshin, music, writing, my bunshin, bleach, pictures, did i say my bunshin yet? • I love to dance... i move. • I'm fascinated with anime • I love rainy Monday mornings • I dream of a simple life • I love traveling • I stay home simply to spend time with my family • I recently got bitten by the computer bug • I love theater • I have deep affection for dogs • I love drawing but drawing seems to have developed a mild aversion towards me • If given a chance, I'd go to VIENNA! • I love my bunshin • I love hugging • When deeply saddened or undeniably happy, i write. • my life is an unwritten book filled with wonderful adventures

contact >> ♥ miaka ♥

CHATTER

"Ad Infinitum, Aeternus"

ARCHIVES

March 2006 l April 2006 l May 2006 l June 2006 l July 2006 l September 2006 l October 2006 l November 2006 l December 2006 l January 2007 l February 2007 l March 2007 l May 2007 l August 2007 l April 2008 l May 2008 l June 2008 l July 2008 l November 2008 l February 2009 l December 2009 l January 2010 l June 2010 l July 2010 l October 2010 l May 2011 l

LINKS

Miaka
My Hubby
Bunshin
Chie
Pie
Gracie
Tsie
Aja
Candz
Jendee
UrbanFaery

LAYOUT

[browser]: IE 6+
[res]: 1280x1024

[program]: PS7
[used]: [x] [x]
[design]: Urban.Faery

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Goodbyes

Its always been so difficult for me to say goodbye. Although i know its not something permanent. I find it really hard. I guess the distance is already starting to take its toll.

I'm becoming unreasonable again i know. To feel bad about something we have no control over. Thinking about it, I'm not truly mad at anyone. I guess i just feel bad about the situation. I've been spoiled, i admit. I've gotten used to the time he spends with me... and now that he needs to be where he should be ( which is away from me), i feel bad. Grrr... I should stop feeling this way. I should stop being this needy and selfish. I don't like it.

But my heart yearns for him with so much intensity it aches. And i can't mask the loneliness of being without him. I've never been good at hiding my emotions. Somehow, someway, it will always come out. I'm crazy. I know i am. I've been crazy for him for so long. Its crazy.

If it was possible to simply turn off my emotions when things get this way, would i do it? The thought already crossed my mind several times in the past. Although I would think its a very convenient and less painful thing to do, I wouldn't. I would rather go through all the pain than deprive myself of being human by shutting myself off what makes life complete. Pain and happiness come together. That's life.

I know i should be sleeping. I can't. My mind is wide awake. I'll probably just keep myself up until the time i need to go back into slumber. That's how it is.

Again i pray for strength. Again I pray for patience and faith. I pray for a strong belief in what is meant to be for both us. That i continue to trust in His hand. Everything is meant to be this way for a reason... He has not failed me yet. Why should i think He would now? Keep the faith. Its all i need to do.


0 Comments: Post a Comment

into my twisted mind...

The requiem of an insomniac... Laugh. Cry. Learn.

"Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of my time. There are too many mediocre things in live and love shouldn't be one of them." ~ Frankie, Dream for an Insomniac